The end of March

We are at the end of March, 2007; the weather here in Tampa is in the 80's, I inside working on the computer trying to dream up interesting article topics for my account at Associated Content. I have just received a really fine offer for an article on women's fashion and how ladies always seem to know what the permissible colors and styles are in effect. My wife is not too happy about my spending so much time at the computer but I really love the thrill of seeing my efforts in print!

This week I also participated in a market research study relating to health insurance and was paid $75 for this two-hour study. Wow.

My work at Jackson-Hewitt Tax Services is winding down as we come to the end of the tax season. The people with whom I have worked are all top-notch and it's been great fun. Next week, I am to have a telephone interview for a future position in Management and am looking forward to this. Meanwhile, the working with and for a diverse group of people, workers and customers, has done much to keep me busy and (may I say it?) young.

Next Monday, Joan and I will be traveling to Sarasota for a family Seder with kids and grandkids. I truly look forward to this.

I'll be back after the Seder and interview to add to this diary.

So proud of my grandchildren

I am going to start a series of blogs in this space, telling the world about some fantastic people -- who incidentally happen to be grandchildren. I would be proud to have any of them as a friend.

For example, Joshua who is one of the most intelligent people I know; Stephanie, who is, I am told, smarter; Jake who astounds me with his wit, brains and probably is the brightest kid in his family (except for the baby who may outshine them all). Then there's Adam, an accomplished musician at 15, playing in adult orchestras and bands. His one flaw, as I see it, is that he enjoys his clarinet playing classical music and does not yet appreciate Artie Shaw. Brother Aaron is learning his way. He is the athletic one of the family and plays soccer like a pro. Then there's Zack and Morgan who, being in Texas far away, we don't know as well. Bur I do know that Zachary is a delight and Morgan, my e-mail correspondent, can charm her way anywhere.

I don't tell them enough how special each and every one is. That will have to end here.

Want to join Associated Content?

Start here:

http://www.associatedcontent.com/join.html?refer=20932

Disappointed and hurt

Since no one reads this stuff, I am able to unburden myself and fight off depression by expressing my views and feelings. Again, since n one is listening, I do not have to worry about my hurting any feelings!

As I have said, I do some writing for Associated Content. Thus far, since last September, I have had 74 articles published, dealing with politics, restaurant and book reviews, history and, occasionally, attempts at humor. I do this to fight lethargy and old age, but also for the ego gratification. And I get paid.

Payment is determined in large measure by the number of "page views" each article receives or is likely to receive. The formula are complex, but essentially, the more people who "click" on the article, the more I get paid.

Thus far I have had over 14000 "page views", which isn't bad. Except that practically none of these views are by my children or grandchildren or relatives.

When our children have wanted or needed something in the past, whether it was money or babysitting services or whatever, we never hesitated, never put off the response because we were too busy to bother. Yet when I ask our children to please look at my writings, they all say that their lives are just too busy. One daughter and her husband have refused several requests to allow their 15 year old access to my articles, but they will not remove the block! This is notwithstanding the fact that neither I nor Associated Content would publish porn or anything else that would be inappropriate for a 15 year old.

At the top of each article is a rating grid whereby a reader can give the piece 1 to 5 stars. If the aggregate rating is high, then the piece may be highlighted in the home page, thus gathering more potential readers and "page views".

At the very least, one would hope that the children would tell me that they have read the articles. Nope. They won't even show that courtesy. I would settle got a "white lie" and a comment that the "old man" is prolific -- if not intelligent!

And that hurts me, greatly.

Search for the 3 carrot ring!

My search MAY be over. Received a telephone call from a man in Pennsylvania who had read of my search. He is sending me a picture of what sounds like the real thing. Oh, I hope so!

Check out my other writings.

Well, I survived my 72nd birthday and remain in great health and spirits. My part-time job at Jackson-Hewitt Tax Services is winding down and I am back to writing for Associated Content more regularly.

I ask that any readers of these musings take at look at

http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/20932/jim_stillman.html

and put any comments there or on this blog. Meanwhile, I will try and have the Jackson-Hewitt folks consider me for full-time work, maybe teaching over the summer. I know that I would hire me!

Meanwhile, all remains quiet in Lutz, florida.

72 and counting

Today is my birthday! It is common, I assume, to give some thoughts on such occasions to one's mortality. I understand that the mortality rate for all of us is 100% and that is, therefore, unlikely I will escape that fate.

I look back on my life and wish I could do things over. I really screwed up a lot of things and missed a bunch of stuff, too. I have really no memorizes of growing up; except for a few episodes, all is a blank. It wasn't until I was in my 50's that I went through some therapy and became straitened out.

If I could do it over, I would have spent a lot more time with my fantastic children. I would have enjoyed fatherhood in all its aspects. I would have gotten to know my sister much better; we were not together when I was growing up but there were opportunities that were, I'm sure, missed.

I would have much more fun in high school and college, not be so afraid of girls as strange creatures.

I cannot relive the past, so what to do?

I resolve to spend the next years of my life being with and getting to know children and grandchildren and, indeed, wife. I will tell them all how much they are loved. I will tell them that they are the reason for living and I can't wait to see how it all comes out.

Discussions with vigor but not rancor!

Is it possible to disagree with another’s opinion or viewpoint without personal ad hominem attacks?


I have been submitting material to Associated Content over the past five or six months. I have written on a number of topics that caught my interest. Some of these were on people and folklore about whom I was introduced many years ago, Hannah Dustin, a lady who, in 1697, was kidnapped by Indians from her home in Haverhill, Massachusetts, escaped and scalped a number of the persons holding her, and Lord Timothy Dexter, a gentleman from Revolutionary days who was certainly eccentric, possibly a genius and possibly just nuts.

Some of my scribbles have been on restaurants I frequent and enjoy, a VW Beetle that I think is cool, life in a Geodesic Dome and such. I am pleased to note that the vast majority of comments were complimentary and supportive.

Then I wrote a number of articles that, admittedly, were controversial, topics about which I felt strongly while acknowledging that others held contrary views. The whole point of Associated Content, I believed was to provide a forum for opposing viewpoints where intelligent and articulate people could challenge each other’s ideas in a responsible manner.

Instead, I have been bombarded with vitriolic and ad hominem attacks that seem totally out of place in a forum for rational discourse. For example, I had written an article suggesting that those who were energized and aroused by the act of killing had a value system with which I disagreed. My article was not anti-hunting; it did object to the idea of getting enjoyment from the act of killing. Comments to this article included terms such as “retarded”, Completely ignorant”, “liar”, condescending wimp” and “idiot”. One writer challenged my masculinity and called me a “quiche eater”. (Actually, my wife’s quiche is quite tasty, but that’s another story.) Only a handful of commentators challenged my opinions directly. Most just ignored my main thesis: if a person is hunting for the “sport” and not to primarily put food on the family’s table, hunting with a camera would be just as rewarding.

Then, I became bothered by the state of Florida’s considering the issuance of a license plate bearing the Confederate flag. My article generated twenty-one comments, thus far, including those that called be “absolutely ignorant”, “trash” and accused me of “making up quotes”. As to the latter charge, my article quoted the Vice President of the Confederate States and cited where his speech could be found.
But all of this doesn’t matter. What does matter is that many of us seem to be able to discuss, even argue, points of view without name calling.

What ever happened to, “I disagree with your opinion, but we can still respect each other”? Voltaire is supposed to have said ,"I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it."

A plea: could we please return a note of civility to our discourse, both on this site and in our everyday lives.

I am not certain if anyone reads these thoughts in this space. Maybe it's like the proverbial tree in the proverbial forest making the proverbial noise. I'd really appreciate comments added here or on my page at Assocuated Content. Otherwise I'll just keep talking in the forest!

My wife has her eyes on a new car.

The Purchase of a New Car is a Humbling Experience. I’d rather have periodontal surgery than buy a new car! Well,maybe not that.

There are a few things that I really hate. Generally, I am sort of willing to do what folks expect of me. I usually leave disposal of really ugly bugs to my lovely wife, Joan, but that is often caused by my not seeing them. That may be Freudian, but I won’t go into that.

Buying a car is the ultimate horror.

Sooner or later in life, one must purchase a new car. I arm myself with the newest issue of Consumer Reports, the purchased report that gives the “true” cost of the vehicle to the dealer, after allowances, hold backs, bonuses, and other payments, have an appraisal of the probable worth of the car that will be traded, and walk semi-confidentially to the showroom door.

I am then accosted, no, pounced on, by salespeople who see in me a wimp, a person who will put food on the salesperson’s tables for months! In other word, a person to be fleeced.

Why can’t a dealer offer an automobile at a set price, without forcing me to enter into negotiations which, by their very nature I will complete knowing that the next person will obtain the identical vehicle for less money?

First, there is the Manufacturer’s Suggested List Price (MSLP), which I understand was actually paid by a customer in Arizona in 1932. This “price” has no connection with reality and serves only to give the unsophisticated buyer the feeling that he or she may have received a “bargain”.

Then there is the “invoice” price. The salesperson will display an alleged invoice that is designed to show the “actual” price the dealer paid for the car. The salesperson will explain the savings over the MSLP and, dramatically tell you that, wink-wink, you can have the vehicle at this “invoice” price. The impression is that the dealer will make no profit but the salesman really likes you and that, in any event, while the dealer loses money on each sale, it is made up in the volume.

The fact is that neither the MSLP nor the “invoice” price represents the true cost to the dealer, due to hold-backs and allowances and incentives. Moreover, the dealer is entitled to make a profit on a sale. The dealer works on the assumption that it needs an “average” per car sold; some sales will be made at considerably above the average, others will be made considerably less than the average. It will all balance out.

There is an advertisement on local television running now for a dealer in the area. The ad states that the “final” prices are on the windshield, no bargaining, a set take-it-or-leave-it price. Then the ad continues, “Come on in and we can talk it over and make a deal that you can easily afford -- just for you.” Sounds like the “final” price on the windshield is subject to modification.

So, the program is to negotiate. A true “negotiation” and the establishment of fair value is defined as being between two parties, each have full knowledge of the facts, the buyer wishing but not desperate to buy and the seller willing but not desperate to sell. Now let’s see, who is likely to “win” that negotiation: the salesperson who does this several times a day, every day, or me, a guy who ventures into the dealership every three to five years?

When I go into the local supermarket to purchase a quart of milk or a pound of coffee or, for goodness sake, a grape, I can’t bargain with the cashier. Nope, I am told that the price is $X and I pay it or leave it. Same thing if I go into buy anything, but a car. I am told that a few years ago, a number of dealers did offer cars at a no-bargain set price and, while customers liked it, the dealers almost always dropped the concept. (One exception, I understand, is a Saturn dealership; prices there are non-negotiable.)

I wonder why.

By the way, I also hate shopping for clothes or accompanying my wife to a shopping mall, but that will have to wait for the next couple of postings.

By the way, is there anyone out there who is reading this stuff?

About me.

I have mentioned that this blog business is a serious ego trip and that it seems presumptuous of me to think that my musings would be of any interest to anyone. . .except me. However, in the interests of clarity, if for no other reason, I want to explain who I am.

I am a 72 year old (in a couple of weeks) living with my wife in Lutz, just north of Tampa, Florida. We had lived in New York where I was -- and still am, albeit in "retired status" -- a member of the New York Bar. We became sick and tired of cold weather and snow and two-hour commutes and moved to Florida some 39 years ago, making us natives. I became an attorney for a land company which, through no acts of mine, decided to become bankrupt when people balked at buying suspect land.

I then went to work with the Florida Department of Health and Rehabilitatiove Services and, later, with the state Department of Revenue, where I stayed for just under 25 years before retirement.

I am spending that retirement writing occasional articles for Associate Content, doing a lot of reading, some travel and really enjoying 14 grandchildren.

During the past months, I have taken a job with Jackson Hewitt Tax Services and, for a part time job, it's pretty neat. Nice people, nice managers and a bit of extra money.

Next year, if all goes well, wife, Joan, and I will be taking 4 children, spouses and all 14 grandchildren on a cruise to celebrate our 50th anniversary. That should be fun and provoke a few blog entries.

Looking for a three-carrot ring

I am fascinated about the concept of a blog! What an ego trip to think someone would actually care ior be interested in what I write or think. If anyone does read this stuff, I'd really love to hear about it. Even if no one is reading it, is this like the proverbial tree falling in a forest? Do I make noise if no one hears?

OK, enough of the philosophy! If someone is out there, I need help.

I have been accused of many things, being an incurable romantic is not one of them! If one can discern an ulterior motive in my search, so be it.

Some 50 years ago I was in the Newark (NJ) airport, preparing for a flight to Florida to visit the person whom, I was determined, would eventually be my wife. I was still in law school at the time and we knew that the formal engagement would be delayed as she lived in Florida and I was a student in New York. There was no way that I could afford a ring at that moment, but I wanted to make an impression.

Somehow it didn’t seem enough to be fashionably attired in the manner of the day, tweed jacket, shirt and tie and Bermuda shorts with knee-length socks. (For a brief time in the 60’s, I had a Nehru-type jacket and, also, a turtle-neck shirt which I wore with a sport jacket and medallion! As long as I am baring my soul, there was, also, the period of the leisure suit.)

In any event, while killing time and strolling among the stores at the airport, I saw the answer to my prayers: funny, sentimental, inexpensive and guaranteed to impress my soon-to-be-fiancée. Did I say, inexpensive?

At the counter was a rack of toy rings, gold colored and adjustable, with three orange carrots on the top. The carrots were about 3/8 “ in length, orange with a green leafy top. They sat proudly on top of the band and had a degree of elegance. The cost was, as I recall, 59 ¢. There was another version, with four carrots, at a slightly added cost, but I felt that a three-carrot ring was just the perfect gift.

I purchased the ring, went to Florida, and was immediately given assurance that, in lieu of a three-karat ring, my gift was more than satisfactory.

(Lest anyone, females especially, be concerned, when we were finally formally engaged, the ring was full of karats.)

Sometime in the past half-century, the ring has been lost. I have, over the past several years searched E-Bay, Google and all of the major and minor search engines, obtained the names and addresses of toy and novelty importers, dealers, and wholesalers, in the United States, Great Britain, China and Australia. I have written organizers of fairs and trade shows and operators of flea markets throughout the country and in western Europe. All in all, I have sent 275 e-mails and letters, looking for this ring. I have found similar rings, with carrots 1 - ½ inch in length that are attached at one end to the ring and some that are more elaborate and are “embedded” in the top of the ring itself; but the ring I am seeking has three small plastic carrots affixed to the top of the ring.

(I have been added to the mailing lists of many unsavory groups, but that’s another story.)

I want, no, need, this ring. We will have been married 50 years in 2008 and, from my past experience, it is never too early to search for a suitable and sentimental gift!.

If anyone can direct me to any vendor or source for this item, I would greatly appreciate your kindness and gladly share a celebratory glass of champagne!

So how about it, possible readers. Can someone help?

More about the loss of a common core of knowledge

As I had indicated, I have been gathering information via a questionnaire on what ordinary people, mostly under 40, know about geography, history, folklore and such. Included in the groups surveyed were 20 Florida elementary school teachers who had gathered in a group.

The full results will be published on Associated Content when they are all compiled, but the preliminary results are scary. So far, none of the teachers and darn few others knew who were the combatants in the US War of 1812; most people said that the "face that launched a thousand ships" was that of the Mona Lisa; and a substantial number of young adults didn't know when World War II started, ended or who the allies were fighting.

I don't want to be the crotchety old man wailing about "kids today", but damn it, we have lost a generation and it's going to get worse.

Our children are deprived of a common general knowledge

Over the past years, I have thought of the days long ago when everyone has a common knowledge of all sorts of things, history, government, geography, literature, all of which facilitated discourse among our friends. For example, we could reference Romeo and Juliet or Rip Van Winkle and our contemporariness knew about which we were speaking.

Today, our educational system is test oriented, there is no independent reading and our children's knowledge of the "olden days" extends five or ten years at most.

I have a feeling that the problem is that teachers do not have the common societal knowledge thjat used to be pervasive. I am circulating a short questionnaire among people age 18 - 40 and will publish the results. I'm afraid that they will confirm my worst expectations.

I'll post more later.